and next time when you feel me up, do it right
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Sext me about skeletons
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
