My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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