K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
