I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
