What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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