You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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