is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
