lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize
