I want to have your abortion
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
