I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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