having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
My pussy is not your playground.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
