Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
