I need help removing her.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
