Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
