Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
