Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
