i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Less talking, more tequila
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
