Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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