i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
