Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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