Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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