I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I am naked and annoyed.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
