I wannas sexs uuuuu
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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