Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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