Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
zippers are such a cool invention
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
