things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
