you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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