Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
