you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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