dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
