did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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