exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
