Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
