Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
