we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
