May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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