Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
