he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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