Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
