careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
