I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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