I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
