at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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