I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
