oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
