wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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