problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
