a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
