At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
