I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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