Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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