My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
