the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
