He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
