I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Randomize
