woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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