why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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