Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm eating all of the evidence.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My cat gives me a boner
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
