I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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