I feel great
I just peed on a car
it was like eating out sand paper
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
