Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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